To forgive, doesn’t always mean to forget. It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel, it doesn’t mean the situation never happened. It doesn’t mean that you give the other person a pass or pardon, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you must keep this person in your life.
What it does mean, is that you are making a conscious choice to let go of resentment and anger. It’s like giving yourself a gift. You are putting a seal on the situation, which brings closure and gives you the strength to move on.
To forgive is not always such an easy task. There may be situations that are so very painful, you wonder how is it ever possible to forgive. You must set aside your pride as well as your ego, take a deep breath ~ and then ask yourself ~ “What do I gain by holding on to this grudge? How will I feel once I have forgiven?” Once you have the answers, the healing process can begin.
The act of forgiveness of oneself is equally important. As humans, we all make mistakes or have regrets for something we’ve done to hurt another. Without self-forgiveness, your guilt will only fester. Acknowledge your mistake, and ask yourself ~ “What have I learned from my mistake? How can I make it better? Can I make better choices?” It’s all part of letting go of the past, and moving forward. You cannot move on when you are burdened with suppressed guilt.
Your mental health depends on your ability reduce hurt and anger aimed towards others as well as yourself.
“When you forgive ~ forgive from your heart ~ and without expectations ”
~ Jill Lee, Ph.D., CHLC ~