Good pride is when who have self-respect, which represents your dignity or expressing your competence. It’s caring about yourself, and possessing worthiness. This is not to be confused with vanity. (Vanity is more about how you think others may see or feel about you.) This “good pride” is a beautiful trait as well as an asset to your being.
There is also a destructive pride. This pride possesses. This pride is selfish. It’s about Me, Myself, and I, part of your ego. This pride steals your joy and destroys your relationships. It’s’ when you think of your “higher self,” while looking down upon others. C.S. Lewis says it best: “A proud man is always looking down on things or people, and of course ~ as long as you are looking down ~ you can’t see something that is above you.”
When you allow your pride to be at the forefront of a situation, there may be something that’s off balance. Take a step back, quiet your mind for a few moments, and listen to your thoughts. Perhaps exercise humility.
Sometimes we may have been hurt, so we walk away and sulk, rather that address the issue. You may say “But it’s not my fault”…okay, does that really matter? How important is the relationship to you? I think that’s what is important. This is the moment to step back and listen to your thoughts, and ask “what matters most”? Know that apologizing or making amends doesn’t always mean that you were wrong, nor does it mean that the other person is right. It comes down to how you value of the relationship.
So how do we navigate around these destructive emotions? Here are a few suggestions:
• Take a few moments to clear your thoughts. Think smart, and then address the issue.
• If the relationship is important to you, admit if you’ve done something wrong, and rise above it. You’re human, and making mistakes is part of being human.
• Don’t wallow, allowing your emotions to take over and misguide you in a direction you wish not to go.
• You may meditate on the situation, and change your perspective.
• Let go of bitterness. Express your feelings and learn to forgive.
• Create personal boundaries.
When pride gets in the way of your relationship, no one comes out a winner. You both lose. Let go of the need always to be right. Again, exercise humility and vulnerability.
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
~ Proverbs 16:18 ~